By Aras Ahmed Mhamad:
How many months have 28 days and how many of each species did Moses take into the Ark? Take a wild guess!
How many times have you told your friends or parents ”You did not make yourself clear?”, ”why didn’t you tell me that”, ”if only you’d told me”, ” you must take full blame for that inconvenience”? If the purpose of communication is for mutual benefit and admiration, it will achieve success; otherwise, it will bring disharmony.
A good communicator listens to what other people have to say, controls and manages body language, speaks to and smiles at people, is warm and is genuinely interested in people. It is claimed that every day we communicate with some 4,000 words and sounds. If you want people to keep their opinions to themselves, then you’re not communicating in the first place. When the body language signal is in conflict with the spoken word, the body language information will be correct because it gives spontaneous feedback.
It is also crucial to use all the five senses: visual, kinesthetic, hearing, taste, and smell because they eliminate any atmosphere of tension or hostility. The more we use these five senses effectively, the better we can communicate and achieve greater outcomes. Have you ever met someone for the first time and instinctively disliked them? A great communicator not only talks and/or writes well but is also an excellent listener.
The tone of voice, posture, eye contact, body language, movement and gestures are all vital for being a successful communicator. In order to hold the listener’s attention, you have to vary the pitch and the speed at which you speak.
Clothes, jewellery, hairstyle, shoes – personal appearance in general – contributes to how people form their opinions of you and these can be difficult to shake off. Have you noticed how people with a new hairstyle and outfit walk and talk differently? What is of the essence is to find a match between what is inside and what is outside. The best way to achieve this balance is to be honest. Dishonesty reduces people’s perception of your ability to communicate and endangers social and professional status.
Similarly, snide and flattery get nowhere and are insincere. They might bring about negative and defensive attitudes and create a totally hostile and unexpected reaction, leading to frustration, anger, resentment, feelings of separateness and disappointment and finally communication breakdown. The cost of failed communication involves loss of time, respect, confidence, credibility, trust, relationships and so on.
The benefits of successful communication, conversely, are countless. People feel good, empowered and motivated; assume responsibility and gain respect. Moreover, positive thinking, meaningful conversation and gratitude will replace negative feelings and pre-judgment. Successful communicators attract people’s attention faster and will definitely get what they look for.
Back to the questions and to summarize, your answer was probably that only February has 28 days. Incorrect. All 12 months have 28 days in them. And it was Noah who went into the Ark, not Moses.
This article was written after re-reading ”Communicate to Win” by Richard Denny.
Aras Ahmed Mhamad is a freelancer. He is the Founder and Deputy Editor of SMART magazine, an independent English magazine that focuses on ‘Literature, Language, Society’. He is the Top Student of College of Languages at the Department of English/ University of Human Development, 2012. He is a columnist for the Kurdistan Tribune and a contributing writer for the ekurd.net and doznews.com. He is the Cultural Analyst at the Kurdish Review Newspaper, the only Kurdish-American newspaper in print. He is also the Editor in Chief of the Sorani section at the doznews.com